{Book} õ You Are a Miserable Excuse for a Hero!: Book One in the Just Make a Choice! Series ⚾ eBook or E-pub free

I love the idea of a choose your own adventure for slackers, but I didn t find it funny There were some moments where I laughed out loud, but not many Then again, I did not read through every possible scenario I found that in some of them you just died too quickly, or your story ended right away and I got sick of back tracking I think there should have been fewer choices I think that would make it funnier, andengaging It s a fun book, just not as fun as I expected it to be. I also heard this described on the NPR Books podcast, and was totally enad with the ideaI loved the Choose Your Own Adventure series as a kid actually still have 4 books in my library and thought the idea of a grownup version is hilarious What was the excerpt on the podcast Something like To go to your parents house to beg for 150,000, turn to page 143 To have revenge sex with your ex girlfriend, turn to page 88 Brilliantchokengtitiktitikchokengs I enjoyed the intro on the podcast in which the host f I also heard this described on the NPR Books podcast, and was totally enad with the ideaI loved the Choose Your Own Adventure series as a kid actually still have 4 books in my library and thought the idea of a grownup version is hilarious What was the excerpt on the podcast Something like To go to your parents house to beg for 150,000, turn to page 143 To have revenge sex with your ex girlfriend, turn to page 88 Brilliantchokengtitiktitikchokengs I enjoyed the intro on the podcast in which the host floated the idea that the CYOA series was ultimately a lesson in the futility of choice, as no matter what you do, you will eventually end up at a result that is already written, and partially unavoidable Hadn t thought of that before pchokengtitiktitikchokengs I just started reading it this morning, and so far I ve read to two The end s I broke my spine in one, and killed off the insurgency in Iraq in the other It s funny, go get itchokengtitiktitiktitiktitikchokengs I think I ve finished reading this book I m not positive I read through all of the possible endings, but what fun It s a blast to briefly step into the shoes of a total shit bag I spent most of the time I was reading this laughing my ass off, it was one of the funniest thing s I ve read in a long time But , well sadly there s a lot of but s.When I say I laughed my ass of the whole time I was reading it that s true, but I d say at least half the time I was reading this I wasn t actually reading any words, just flipping through pages In most CYOA style books when you come to a choice it will frequently bethan just two and some of the paths will have a few d I spent most of the time I was reading this laughing my ass off, it was one of the funniest thing s I ve read in a long time But , well sadly there s a lot of but s.When I say I laughed my ass of the whole time I was reading it that s true, but I d say at least half the time I was reading this I wasn t actually reading any words, just flipping through pages In most CYOA style books when you come to a choice it will frequently bethan just two and some of the paths will have a few different pages that lead to them This book did not follow that but simply ended each choice by branching out into two different directions I m sure this made writing the book to be much easier but it made re reading it one of a CYOA style book s normal selling points incredibly tedious.Another thing that at first made the book so well but got old really fast was what an utter douche bag the books character is The original CYOA books kept as little as possible about you from seeping into the story because the author knew theof that character was on the page the less the reader could identify as them Powers seems to totally disregard that, which could have worked really well if it was presented properly This is not a choose YOUR own adventure story but a Choose THE adventure story It seems none of the stories presents the books hero as anything other than the worlds biggest douche bag, and if you go into this book thinking of him as You your going to leave with a very sour taste in your mouth Even if you ve never read any CYOA style books before, this should appeal to anyone looking for a dose of irreverent, pop surrealist comedy that s as self aware as it is hilarious You Are a Miserable Excuse for a Hero starts with a miserable excuse for a human being a washed up thirty something still trying to become an actor while simultaneously avoiding any sort of real life responsibility Within short order, however, you are catapulted into a tangled mess of responsibilities that could hav Even if you ve never read any CYOA style books before, this should appeal to anyone looking for a dose of irreverent, pop surrealist comedy that s as self aware as it is hilarious You Are a Miserable Excuse for a Hero starts with a miserable excuse for a human being a washed up thirty something still trying to become an actor while simultaneously avoiding any sort of real life responsibility Within short order, however, you are catapulted into a tangled mess of responsibilities that could have you alternatively killing dudes with your bare hands or rushing across town to get your ex girlfriend an abortion At one point, your entire existence is erased as every building you leave from blows up seconds later About the only ending that I found to be a dud was the sitting at home and getting drunk by yourself ending, but then again it does have some metafictional value To sum up , if you re looking for cross genre adventure, you ll get it If you re looking for existential disappointment wrapped in a satire, you ll get it But most of all, if you re looking for a laugh, you ll definitely get lots of those, unless you re a square who has never watched a bad movie television show, in which case, you ll probably get left out A choose your own adventure book for adults, how fun I went through it a couple of times trying to make the decisions that would lead me to end that I wanted I did the same thing when I was a kid but it was actually pretty satisfying even when I didn t save the day because they were funny endings regardless If you re in the need for some light reading I whole hardheartedly recommend this book. This is certainly a leg up from the Choose Your Own Adventure Books of my childhood Sarcastic and filled with semi realistic but very amusing narrations such as paraphrased Your Participation In The Fantstic Orgy In The Basement or You Decide To Call Your Ex For Some Meaningless Sex However I didn t get a lot of enjoyment out of it, or even read most of it After following a couple scenarios to the end, I found it tiresome to have to trace my steps backward to chose some other adventur This is certainly a leg up from the Choose Your Own Adventure Books of my childhood Sarcastic and filled with semi realistic but very amusing narrations such as paraphrased Your Participation In The Fantstic Orgy In The Basement or You Decide To Call Your Ex For Some Meaningless Sex However I didn t get a lot of enjoyment out of it, or even read most of it After following a couple scenarios to the end, I found it tiresome to have to trace my steps backward to chose some other adventure and get to the good parts that I saw while flipping through For its genre, though, I guess it s not bad Worth it based on the novelty factor alone, this is a choose your own adventure for 30 or soon to be 30 somethings with no direction, ambition, or other forms of forward planning in life Each chapter ends with two decisions, which then simply enough either lead to an ending or another chapter with twodecisions Not exactly the type of thing you ll want to, or can, sit down and read cover to cover, but it s great for a few minutes distraction. This book is hilarious, though it s hard to make sure you go through all the possible paths that your adventure can take Some of the twists the plot takes are just beyond comprehension This guy had to have gone on some crazed binge for 3 day spree of reading through choose your own adventure books, popping no doz, and watching HBO without sleep. {Book} ß You Are a Miserable Excuse for a Hero!: Book One in the Just Make a Choice! Series ⚝ Why Do All the Nice Girls End Up Getting Kidnapped and Held for Ransom In this book, YOU, the reader, are a thirtysomething part time actor full time waiter suddenly caught up in a kidnapping Julia, the girl you went out with last night, has been TAKEN HOSTAGE What will you do Will you go to the police and ask for help Will you burst into the hideout, killing everyone in sight, then tell Julia that she shouldn t misinterpret this as some sort of big commitment Or will you unplug your phone and just get really, really drunkThe choice is yours You awake to the sound of the phone ringingHelloYou hear a man s voice It is muffled We ve got Julia Wait, what do you mean We have kidnapped your girlfriend If you ever want to see her again Whoa, she s not my girlfriend, you say I just met her I mean, I had a good time with her and all, but I wanna take it slow with this one, I think We understand, the voice says But she s new to the city, and presently, you re all she has Give us fifty thousand dollars by tomorrow or we ll blow her head offIf you want to go and ask your parents if you can borrow fifty thousand dollars, go to pageIf you want to have sex with your ex girlfriend, consider getting back together with her, then think better of it, go to pageBE VERY CAREFUL You re directing the story and the CHOICES you make can result in MURDER, GRADUATE SCHOOL ENROLLMENT, TORTURE, MARRIAGE, POST APOCALYPTIC SLAVERY, UNWANTED PREGNANCY, even TEMPING It s YOUR STORY and YOUR LIFE All you ve got to do is decide which page you want to turn to JUST MAKE A CHOICE Mediocre Perhaps this was a good reminder that things from childhood should stay there As an adult the choices often all sound bad and the story is unsatisfying, no matter how many times you read it Still, it is the best of the adult choose your own adventures I read.